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Noticing and naming small wins together
Even the smallest progress is worth pointing out.
“You handled that really well.”
When they navigated a tricky dinner or skipped a drink they’d usually say yes to.
“You seemed really present last night — I loved that.”
“That looked tough, but you stuck with it.”
Your words don’t need to be deep. Just honest. Noticing is a form of care.
When someone’s cutting back or cutting out, it can be hard to know what to say — especially if things seem a bit up and down. But noticing the wins (even quiet ones) can make a real difference.
You don’t have to fix things. But you can reflect the good stuff back to them — so they see it too.
More ways to show quiet support.
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You’re not alone
“You should celebrate the wins — it’s a big deal. Having someone alongside to high-five matters.”
Meg, Tuggeranong
Still thinking about it?
There’s a line between being there — and being all over it.
It’s easy to tip into worry, reminders, even micro-managing. But lasting change can’t be forced. And it definitely doesn’t come from hovering.
You can be present without being pushy.
Here’s what that might look like:
- Let them lead. Ask what support looks like — don’t assume.
- Check in without checking up. “How’s your week been?” works better than “Did you drink last night?”
- Keep your own stress in check. If you’re spiralling, that’s yours to manage — not theirs to carry.
Support is showing up, not steering.
When you’re guessing, keep it simple. It’s okay not to know. Showing up with care matters more than getting it perfect.
- Ask directly. “What feels helpful right now?”
- Offer small. A meal, a message, a check-in.
- Stay steady. Keep showing up — consistency builds trust.
When you’re worried about saying the wrong thing. Some actions support, others add pressure. Knowing the difference keeps things easier.
- Helps: Listening, encouragement, small gestures.
- Overwhelms: Pressure, guilt, over-checking.
- Balance: Care plus space.
Up next
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Read more: Catch-ups that don’t need a drinks menu
Catch-ups that don’t need a drinks menu
Still fun. Still mates. Just less alcohol.
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Read more: Gentle check-in phrases that open space
Gentle check-in phrases that open space
When you want to ask, but not push.
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Read more: Invite them to something alcohol-free
Invite them to something alcohol-free
When the old hangouts don’t feel right anymore.
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Read more: Listening more than leading the way
Listening more than leading the way
You don’t have to solve it. Just be there.
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Read more: Low-pressure check-in alternatives
Low-pressure check-in alternatives
When you want to care without crowding.
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Read more: Noticing and naming small wins together
Noticing and naming small wins together
Even the smallest progress is worth pointing out.
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Read more: Progress that isn’t obvious
Progress that isn’t obvious
When it feels slow, here’s what might actually be shifting.
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Read more: Understanding what might be going on under the surface
Understanding what might be going on under the surface
When behaviour changes but words don’t explain it.
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Read more: What they may need to hear
What they may need to hear
There’s no perfect script — but some words can really land.
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Read more: What to celebrate (even if they can’t yet)
What to celebrate (even if they can’t yet)
When the shift feels small, they’re still worth naming.
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Read more: When you want to help but aren’t sure how
When you want to help but aren’t sure how
Sometimes support misses the mark — and that’s okay to notice.
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Read more: Why support matters more than solutions
Why support matters more than solutions
When you can’t fix it, showing up still counts.