Catch-ups that don’t need a drinks menu

There’s a line between being there — and being all over it.

It’s easy to tip into worry, reminders, even micro-managing. But lasting change can’t be forced. And it definitely doesn’t come from hovering.

You can be present without being pushy.

Here’s what that might look like:

• Let them lead. Ask what support looks like — don’t assume.
• Check in without checking up. “How’s your week been?” works better than “Did you drink last night?”
• Keep your own stress in check. If you’re spiralling, that’s yours to manage — not theirs to carry.

Support is showing up, not steering.

When you’re guessing, keep it simple. It’s okay not to know. Showing up with care matters more than getting it perfect.

• Ask directly. “What feels helpful right now?”
• Offer small. A meal, a message, a check-in.
• Stay steady. Keep showing up — consistency builds trust.

When you’re worried about saying the wrong thing. Some actions support, others add pressure. Knowing the difference keeps things easier.

• Helps: Listening, encouragement, small gestures.
• Overwhelms: Pressure, guilt, over-checking.
• Balance: Care plus space.